Thursday, January 08, 2009

My Reality

Eventually I will get around to posting about Christmas, but for now, I've got babies on my mind. This post might seem like a lot of complaining, but just know that it is meant to be more humorous than anything and is also meant for me to look back one day and say, "Man, I'm glad I'm not in that stage anymore." I'm not going to sugar coat anything, because this is my current reality, so please bare with me.

Today's topic: pregnancy

Some women love being pregnant. I am not one of those women. Pregnancy and I do not go well together. We're like pickles and ice cream, orange juice and brushing your teeth, peanut butter and mustard. I just named off a bunch of food, all of which I currently can't have because I am too sick. These past few days have been BRUTAL for me. I think I threw up something like 16 times today. I couldn't keep a darn thing down my gullet. It's sad how much I miss food. I would love to take a bite of a delicious pizza, a juicy steak, fried shrimp, donuts, ice cream, a yummy salad, whatever.... Instead, I get to eat crackers most of the day, and then I get to throw them up. If you've never experienced morning sickness like this, just pretend like you've got the stomach flu for 3 months straight. That's basically how it feels. Some days are better than others. In fact, Christmas week was awesome. I didn't even throw up once on Christmas day. It was a Christmas miracle! For some reason, this week has been exceptionally bad. I'm hoping it's at it's peak, and maybe after this week the sickness will go down a bit. I need it to go down because I am almost completely useless right now. The house is a disaster, I can't make dinner for my family because the smell often makes me sick, and I feel like I've been a terrible mother and wife. Don't even get me started on changing Hannah's stinky diapers. If Scott is home I make him do it.

I keep telling myself that it will pass eventually......only 6 more weeks of this (fingers crossed). The only good thing that comes out of this morning sickness is that I know my babies are developing. Morning sickness is often a good sign that the placenta is growing, and I would actually be worried that something was wrong if I didn't have morning sickness. I must admit, though, I would much rather be one of those women who doesn't get it at all.

So eventually the morning sickness goes away. The second trimester is definitely the best of them all. This is the trimester that the morning sickness goes away, you get to find out the sex of the baby (or in my case, babies), and you usually get to feel the first kick. It's fun to feel the baby kick for awhile, but after a month or two of getting kicked in the ribs, pelvis, or belly button, you tend to get sick of it. Hannah used to always kick when I was trying to sleep and it got really annoying. Again, though, if she hadn't kicked for longer than a couple of hours, I would get worried.

The last trimester is a tie with the first trimester for being the worst trimester for me. Those last two months are hard. Another reason that pregnancy doesn't go with my body has to do with the fact that I gain a lot of weight. According to my doctor, a woman should only gain between 25 and 30 pounds. I gained 40 with Hannah. In fact, in my 6th month alone of pregnancy I had gained 20 pounds. The doctor told me that I needed to lay off the sweets. He told me it was okay to eat canned peaches but that I shouldn't drink the syrup that the peaches are in. Who in the world would be so deprived of sugar that they would have to drink that thick, nasty syrup that canned peaches lie in? I must admit that I was a bit offended at first when he said that to me, but I knew that I wasn't pigging out on sweets, so I brushed it off. It's actually pretty funny now. Anyway, with this pregnancy, I plan on gaining at least 50, if not more. So imagine me looking like this, but 10-20 pounds bigger and two more chins. Also with the third trimester comes lots of heartburn, painful ligaments stretching, having to sleep on your side when lying on your back is your favorite position, not being able to bend over, and waddling like a duck.

Then, there is the labor and delivery. This is another reason pregnancy and I do not go well together. I can't have children naturally. If I were born a hundred or so years ago, I probably would have died giving birth to Hannah. I am SO lucky to have been born in this day so that I can deliver all of my little pumpkins via C-section. Don't be fooled by the size of these hips; they can't bare children because the pelvis is too narrow.

And finally, there is the lovely week after the birth. The actual C-section was very pleasant and easy. You just lay there while the doctor is taking the baby out of you. After the C-section was a different story for me. I think that I'm pretty good with pain, but I can distinctly remember two times when I cried because my incision was burning me. Both times were merely because I was trying to lift my leg over the tub to get in the shower. You don't realize how much you use those lower muscles until they've been cut. Every time you laugh, cough, sneeze, lift your legs, stand up or sit down, try to climb into bed, etc, you are using those muscles. I think what made it worse for me was the fact that I was SO swollen with water after Hannah was born that it was causing a lot of pressure on my incision. I've said this before, but I weighed more after Hannah was born because of the swelling than right before she was born. Look at this picture:

Talk about "cankles." This wasn't even the worst of it. I remember my mom laughing at me as I was walking down the hall because I looked like I should have been rolled down the hall by a couple of umpa lumpas, like this:

Luckily after a week, the swelling went down and I felt really good. Hopefully this time will be better.

After all of this complaining of what I get to go through over the next 6 months, just know that I know that I am lucky to be able to have children. Also, I know that some women have it even worse than I do (those who have to be on bed rest their whole pregnancy or those who have to wear an IV because they are so dehydrated). I would do this over and over again to get another little chubby pumpkin like this:

This time I get two chubby pumpkins, which means a 2 for 1 with this pregnancy. That's great news. Who knows, this might be the last time that I get pregnant (although I think there might be one more spirit out there for us after these two are born), so I had better enjoy every minute of it.


tyler and emily said...

I'm so sorry you're feeling so sick!! That's no fun. I definitely agree... though I don't enjoy morning sickness, I'd much rather be feeling pregnant with morning sickness than to not, when I normal do. I hope you start feeling better soon! Some people say with each pregnancy it gets better and easier. I completely understand about feeling useless right now, but I'm sure your husband understands. I'm counting down the weeks to my 2nd trimester too.

Angela said...

2nd trimester rocks! You will get there sooner than you know it, and the two for one deal is nice too:) (does that mean your morning sickness is twice as bad?) I had it pretty bad too, I am sorry-I feel sick just thinking about it!

Jen said...

I think we have similar genes in the pregnancy area. I just got over the stomach flu and it reminded me of it-- no energy + nauseated/throwing up all day long. And I can vouch for you on the swollen thing. I remember Mom and Kerrie said they felt so bad for you because you were unusually swollen-- mom was worried. Hopefully that won't happen this time.

But like you said, it is all worth it in the end, and this time doubly worth it.

RachelBarker said...

I just love how "REAL" you are. I seriously think its a great trait you have. I wish more girls were like you!! I was laughing so hard with the lumpas!!

Sweet Cakes said...

You bring back all too fresh memories for me. Especially about cooking dinner. I could never eat what I made. I am one of those women who don't enjoy pregnancy either, especially the last trimester and recovery. The only thing that kept me from throwing up was a b vitamin complex that I still take. If you aren't already on them and want to try these let me know....they worked miracles for me the first trimester with morning sickness, energy and apparently they are really good for the little ones. Well, if you need any help even a maid and a cook I am right next door you can even just knock on our adjoining door so you don't even have to come out of your apt and I will be over :) Audrey

Brenner Family said...

OOOOOHHH Honey! Honesty/Truth should not be that funny! Soon this will pass. I am jealous, I am one of those women that LOVE to be pregnant and even with your horror story I would do it in a heart beat! Not that I experienced ANY of that which makes me scared that my next one will be brutal. You have been on my mind. Take ALL the help you can get and dont feel bad about it, it will help you. :)

kerrie said...

That picture of Hannah is ADORABLE! Makes all the suffering worth it. And it is nice that you get two babies out of one pregnancy. I'm so sorry that you are so extremely sick. I wish I lived close so I could help with dinners, cleaning and Hannah (and to watch your cute belly grow). Keep posting pics of your baby bump throughout the pregnancy. I hope your morning sickness goes away soon. Love ya!

Marc and Stacy said...

I totally love your honesty Maran. As Rachel said, I think your "realness" is one of your greatest qualities! I, too, had a pregnancy like yours. My ankles looked like that for a month before I had Montana and a week after. I gained 60 pounds. I DID have those extra two chins you were talking about.
But hey....we can never wait to do it again, because those first kicks mean the world to us. It means we get to feel the one thing in the world our babies can give us that NO ONE ELSE will EVER feel the way we do. And, because we get to create, birth and raise angels.
I have to admit, as I told you on the phone, I am jealous of your two for one deal.
I love you-and it's hard to hear that you are going through this hard time and I am absolutely helpless. I wish I could take Hannah for you. I wish I could make a meal for your family and bring it over, and I wish, as every true BFF-I could hold your hair for you while you throw up!:) Okay, maybe I don't WISH that one as hard, but I'd do it if you needed me too.
You are in my prayers. I will pray you get your piece of pizza soon! :)

Diane said...

Hang in there girlie... I wish we lived closer because then we could help you out! :o) This too, shall pass...

Diane said...

Plus, it's way more fun to make dinner and clean for someone else!

The Kradolfers said...

Aww, look at adorable baby Hannah! My favorite pic was your cankle one. I remember that I didn't have to worry about knicking my ankle when I shaved that last month because there wasn't one. 25-30 lbs. I think i heard 35...but i went over that by 10 anyway. I was told you dont really gain the last month either, yet that scale kept on climbing up to my last appt. Hang in there maran!

Mom said...

Yes, it runs in the family. I feel for you. I did the same thing. Throwing up constantly. And I agree with Sweetcakes about the Vitamin B. Remember I told you about that? I had to have a Vitamin B shot at six months prego because I couldn't stop vomiting. After the shot, I never threw up again.Wish I were close by too to make Scott and Hannah dinner (and give you your crackers). Yes, time is passing. Every day brings you closer to second trimester! Also, I would bet $100 that you come four weeks or so early. But not too early. Then you won't suffer that last trimester as much. Love you and praying for you.